Dear Germ - X

Dear Germ-X,

Over the last 6 years, you and I have spent a lot of time together. You've been with me at countless stores, every week at church, playgrounds, and on airplanes. You have gotten to know my kids very well and they refer to you endearingly as "germie." I have felt more safe and protected because of you. I have so many memories of you - such as the time when the nurse at the doctor's office complemented me on my perfume and was shocked to find out that instead it was you...or the many times you brought so much happiness to 11 year old Izzy as she attempted to steal you from my purse each week at church, trying to see how long it would take me to notice you were gone. I began buying you in the 2.5 oz bottles, but was ecstatic to find you now in 40 oz bottles which can be found in several locations at my house. However, enough is enough. For so long I didn't know how I could live without you; but then I began to remember I DID live without you for the first 22 years of my life...and you know what? Somehow I lived through all those 22 years without you and life was good! And then I started to get a little angry at you and at Lysol and at Clorox for all those silly commercials on TV magnifying creepy crawly microscopic germs, trying to scare me into using each one of you! And then I got a little angry at myself for falling for your commercials and buying each one of you in massive amounts. Enough is enough. There is a time and a place for you and I am putting you back in that place. No longer will your 8 oz bottle occupy the majority of my purse, but instead the 2.5 oz travel size that is meant for purses. Instead of using you after every store I go into, I will only use you after my shopping is complete (or if I am going to eat something and can't wash my hands). I realize that more germs may be on my hands and that I could even potentially catch a few extra colds - but it is time that I took back control and built up some immunities again before you crush my immune system to smithereens. Best of luck to you. I know we will still see each other on occasion, but believe me, things can never be the same again.

Sincerely,

Natalie